A Letter to My Baby Boy...

Dear Baby Boy,

It is crazy to think that you will be in my arms in a matter of days (or even hours!).  It is even crazier to think that just 10 months ago you were just a hope, a wish, and a dream for me and your daddy.  You have grown so much and you are now ready to leave my womb and become your own person.  I cannot wait to see all that you become.

I want you to know that you will always be loved, cared for, and my dream come true.  No matter what you choose to do in life I will be here to guide and support you.  I know you will make me proud to be your mother.

Know that no matter how old you are you will always be my Baby Boy.

Forever,
Your Loving Mother

10 Randoms for Today

1.  I regularly pull out a newborn diaper and hold it across my belly.  I am convinced Little Boy will not fit into these things once he is out of me.  Kiel calls me a "crack head" every time I do this. 

2.  Today I realized I need to stop wishing for him to come out of me.  He will come when he is ready. Worst case scenario, I'll be pregnant for 20 more days.  And I doubt it will even be that long.  

3.  My friend, Anna, just designed our birth announcements.  OH EM GEE!  You are going to love them!  I'll share the proof on the blog after they are sent out!  All I have to say is they are perfect for us and Little Boy!

4.  I am dying to run a mile.  That's all, just a mile.  I don't know when I'll be able to do that, but I'm hoping it is sooner rather than later!

5.  Eating Buffalo Chicken Pizza did nothing but upset my belly.  I'm done trying little tricks to get this boy out.  

6.  Tomorrow I have lots of errands to run so my mom is coming to keep me company.  Today I just did a little grocery shopping run and I thought I was going to die!   I'm so grateful she will be there to help me tomorrow!

7.  I am addicted to watching the Olympic trials.  I am watching the swimming trials as I type.  I hope Little Boy enjoys swimming.  I would love for him to swim competitively.  I just learned how to really swim and I wish I had learned earlier in life.  I have already looked up Mommy and Me swim classes, but we can't start until he is 6 months old.  I cannot wait!

8.  The humidity was super low last night and today.  My feet and ankles look more manly than freakish than they have in a long time.  I can't wait for them to look almost feminine again (I have always had man-feet like my dad).   

9.  I will be going for a pedicure courtesy of my coworkers 2-3 weeks after little boy is born.  I cannot wait to actually enjoy a foot rub.   The swelling makes them super sore!

10.  I go to the doctor first thing in the morning tomorrow.  I wonder if she will have any new information.  I doubt it though!

39 Weeks

I never ever thought I would make it to 39 weeks!  I really thought he would be here before now.  Since about early April people have been saying there is no way I would make it to my due date.  I really believed all these people!  And little boy has been measuring 1-2 weeks bigger than expected this whole time so I thought that would be a little indication that he would come 1-2 weeks early.  Well we are at the 1 week until the due date mark and still no sign of a baby!   I am hoping he comes this week, and if the psychic I saw a few months ago was right he should be here this week.   I really want him here before the 4th of July, but honestly I'll take him whenever just as long as he is healthy!  

-The Weekly List -

How far along? 39 Weeks 

Total weight gain/loss: +38 pounds. Some how I miraculously maintained my weight this week despite being ravenous!  I also haven't been eating the best foods either between all the end of the school year activities and graduation and birthday parties we have been to I have had my fair share of cake and ice cream!  I doubt little boy is complaining.  

Maternity clothes? Obviously, but when I am home I lounge in one of Kiel's T-shirts and my pre-pregnancy shorts.  

Stretch marks? I think I noticed a few faint shiny pink lines on my belly.  

Sleep: I have been super super tired lately.  I am awake quite often at night to readjust or go to the bathroom and it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a comfortable position.   Therefore, I pretty much require a daytime nap!

Best moment this week: Being able to relax and mentally prepare for all that is to come!

Miss Anything? (Again)-Being comfortable.  

Movement: Over the past 3-4 days I noticed he really has slowed down.  He still moves quite often so I am not worried, but he definitely seems to be sleeping more.  

Food cravings: Nothing, but I just made Kiel go pick up a buffalo chicken pizza with hopes that the spiciness will bring on labor!  

Food aversions: Nothing!

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope! 

Ailments: Swelling, pelvic pressure, heaviness in my abdomen, period-like cramps, contractions here and there.  The swelling has gotten really bad and walking is so uncomfortable. 

Have you started to show yet:  Big time!

Gender prediction: Beautiful baby boy. 

Labor Signs: Nothing really.  At this point the only real sign is hardcore contractions or my water breaking and neither has happened yet! 

Belly Button in or out? Out.  

Wedding rings on or off? Off

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, but I guess I have been really quite lately too.  I have a lot on my mind! 

Looking forward to: Seeing this little boy.  Becoming a family.  Holding him in my arms!

The Waiting Game

I have now been on my maternity leave for a total of 27 hours and I don't know what to do with myself.  I have been attempting to do a little cleaning, a little napping, a little foot elevating, but everything is so boring!   Cleaning just gets frustrating since I can't bend over or stand up for long.  Napping is always nice, but I can only do that for so long and the same goes for my foot elevating.  I feel like I am wasting my life when I watch TV and I don't have any more books on my to read list before Baby Boy gets here.
I might pick up the 5th Harry Potter book since I left off there and I feel like I neglected Harry and his posse.  I also have considered cooking and freezing food, but I think that is unnecessary for our lifestyle.  Kiel is just as capable as I am when it comes to cooking and I know I will be able to count on him when it comes to preparing meals.  I also don't mind take out and since we rarely order out it will be a nice treat to be lazy and have pre-made meals delivered to us (or picked up by my hubby).  I know I have to clean more too, but grrrr it just makes me so frustrated when I can't clean areas that I want to (the bathtub, toilets, floors).  

So do you have any other low key ideas for keeping busy when all I am thinking about is this baby coming out of me?

13 Days to Go....Make your predictions

Most of my family has already made their birthday and weight predictions for Baby Boy.  If you are feeling brave, go on and make yours....

Remember the sooner and the smaller, the better!


My prediction is June 22- 8lbs 8oz (my birth weight), via a natural vaginal birth after 12 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing.  I think he will have gray eyes at birth and thin, soft light brown hair.

What do you think???

38 Weeks

Dear Lord!  38 Weeks!  When did this happen?    I can't believe that this kid will be here in three weeks or less!   I say three weeks because I doubt they will have me go much longer than a week past my due date considering he has been a big boy all along.

I am now at the stage where I really want him out!   I am uncomfortable in every possible position, I feel super heavy, I am swollen, achy, tired, and hot!  I am ready for a different kind of tired, a different kind of soreness, a different kind of day to day life.  Although it is hard to know what to expect over the next few weeks (months, years), I am ready to find out!  So come on Baby Boy, squeeze your way out of Mommy!!

-The Weekly List -

How far along? 38 Weeks 

Total weight gain/loss: +38 pounds.  I flunked.  I wanted to stay under 35 and thought I could considering I had lost so much weight at the beginning.  The swelling is just ridiculous.  I can tell my legs are retaining water now too, not just my feet and ankles.  I have also noticed swelling in my face.  The doctor is really not concerned considering my blood pressure is still so low.  I guess it is just how my body is reacting to this stage of pregnancy and the heat/humidity.  I really hope all this fluid is drained out of me shortly after delivery!  

Maternity clothes? Yes and they are still too small.  I broke down and bought a Large maternity tank top for work tomorrow and almost bought a really cute dress, but only my ankles showed and, oh my, did they look awful!!  Next time I'm pregnant I will invest in some more large shirts since the length of the mediums are now too short for me.  

Stretch marks? None

Sleep: I have been trying to give myself 8 hours of "bed time" per night even though I am probably up for 1-3 hours each night depending on how I am feeling.  On work days I pretty much can guarantee I'll come home and sleep for a good two and a half hours-that is one perk of working at an early school!    

Best moment this week: Realizing that everything is done and we are just waiting for Baby Boy to make his grand entrance.  

Miss Anything? (Again)-Being comfortable.  

Movement: Surprisingly, he still moves around quite often.  The midwife asked if I did kick counts and I was afraid to say no, but when I did I said I didn't really have to since he is very responsive and moves around all the time anyway.  She made me happy by replying that we, "have a very healthy and happy baby boy in there!"

Food cravings: Nothing really.  I have been trying to keep up the pineapple routine and drink lots of water.  That's about it.  

Food aversions: Nothing!

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope! 

Ailments: Swelling, pelvic pressure, contractions here and there.  

Have you started to show yet:  Big time!

Gender prediction: Beautiful baby boy. 

Labor Signs: As of last Tuesday I was 1 cm dilated, I have had many minor contractions, cramping, and back aches, and today it appears my mucus plug is making its way out.  (gross, I know!)

Belly Button in or out? Out.  

Wedding rings on or off? Off and I tried on my sister's ring and it fit.  I am now a 7.  I went from a 4 1/4 to a 7???  WTF?!?!

Happy or Moody most of the time: Mostly happy and anxious.  

Looking forward to: Holding this little monster who has been growing inside me for nearly 10 months!  I am so ready!!!

The ABC Wall!

So I have finally gotten my act together and took a few pictures of the completed wall.  The quality of the photos aren't great because I am not super skilled at using our new camera yet, but I think you get the point!  

The pictures really don't do it justice. This looks fabulous in person!  

37 Weeks

We are now officially FULL TERM!  That means if Baby Boy decides to come now all should (and will) be good for the both of us!

Being this pregnant is not easy.  I never thought I would feel so exhausted at this point.  It is seriously worse than the first trimester sleepiness.  Everything I do takes so much effort!  This afternoon my ankles were so swollen I couldn't even bend them to walk.  So on top of my pregnancy waddle I have this weird Nazi soldier leg kick thing going on when I walk.  It is not pretty!  Right now my feet are soaking in a warm tub.  I tried an ice water tub, but it was way too painful.  The warm water feels okay, but I don't think it is doing much to help the swelling.  I haven't eaten my pineapple in two days because we ran out and I didn't feel like cutting it or making Kiel cut it after we went out and bought it.  Tonight I will have to cut and eat it!  I don't know if the increase in swelling is due to the lack of pineapple and honey in my diet or the increase in temperature up here.   Either way, I know I am feeling quite uncomfortable.

I told Kiel tonight over dinner, that if it weren't for the end of school being next week, today would have been my last day of work.  Everything is just becoming so difficult, but especially the commute.  It is a struggle to stay awake in the morning and the afternoon.  But I am determined to make it until the last day as long as Baby Boy cooperates.  I already requested a personal day for Wednesday, just because I know I will not be able to make it through the whole week without a day to rest.  So I have to get through tomorrow, Thursday and Friday.  Then we have a three day weekend-no school on Monday for Bunker Hill Day (thanks Boston for the wasted day off the last week of school), a full day Tuesday and half days Wednesday and Thursday.  Then I will be off for FIVE MONTHS!   Words cannot express how excited I am to spend five months of quality time with my baby boy.  I feel so fortunate to be able to get so much quality time at home with my new family!

-The Weekly List -

How far along? 37 Weeks 

Total weight gain/loss: +35ish pounds (I'll have an official weigh-in tomorrow).  My books and internet resources say that weight gain should stop around now, but the fact that my feet and ankles continue to expand, I know I am packing on the pounds in those areas.  At one point today I looked down and my ankles were bigger than my calf.  On another weight gain topic, while taking down pictures we took on the first day of school my students repeatedly said how beautiful and skinny I looked in September and then proceeded to say that they hope I become skinny again. Really?  Carrying a baby is not beautiful??  I guess not to 9 and 10 year olds!

Maternity clothes? Yes, my students told me that my shirts are too short, basically because they could see my elastic waistband on my capris today.  I refuse to do any more fat clothes shopping!

Stretch marks? Still none, but my body looks so foreign to me right now!

Sleep: Not sleeping very well and I really would love to be able to nap every day.  I think for the rest of the school year I will be able to take a nap everyday except for next Saturday, but that should be fine since I will have Sunday and Monday to recover from all the parties we have to go to on that day! 

Best moment this week: Finding out that Baby Boy will have a little boy cousin who will be just 4 months younger than him!  Playing with Baby Boy's foot while inside my belly.  He was super interactive on Saturday night.  His foot was sticking out all over my belly and when we would touch it he would move it to another place. This lasted for a good 5-10 minutes!  We had so much fun!  

Random....after our "tickle session" I had a very vivid dream that we were doing the same thing, but Kiel noticed if we shined a bright light on my belly that we could see him through my skin.  When we saw him we were shocked to see how adorable he was and I wanted him out right then.  Somehow he came out of me without actually going into labor and we started playing with the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.  Then I began to freak out about my doctor getting mad at me for taking the baby out of my womb just to play so I told Kiel we had to get him back in.  That is when the baby made a face and I said, "Uh-oh."  Kiel, the typical new dad, said, "What?"  I responded with, "I think he pooped!"  Sure enough Kiel checked and there was the dreaded black poop!  I said, "well I guess we better call the doctor cuz he is not going back in there after he pooped."  

Like I said...it was very random!  Where does my brain come up with this stuff?!?

Miss Anything? Just being comfortable still!  The simplest things are so difficult, like eating at a table, getting up from a chair (or toilet), getting dressed, getting into my car.  Really the list could go on and on!

Movement: He is still moving a lot despite what all the websites say about him slowing down.  I swear when I think it has been a while since I last felt him move, within a minute he is squirming or stretching.  He knows how to make his mama happy!

Food cravings: Haven't noticed any cravings or any food I repeatedly ate this week.  I just try to keep my bell full!

Food aversions: Nothing!

Anything making you queasy or sick:  I have been feeling a little off the past few days, but I can't really place the feeling.  Maybe I am just having more contractions.  

Ailments: Swelling and pelvic pressure are the main things right now.  

Have you started to show yet: Yep and all the random people out at stores have to comment on my belly.  Yes, I am very pregnant.  I don't need you to remind me!

Gender prediction: Beautiful baby boy. 

Labor Signs: I did have two strong contractions yesterday one and half hours apart, but that was it.  I will find out more tomorrow when I go see the midwife.  

Belly Button in or out? Out and gross.  

Wedding rings on or off? Off, and we might be making a trip to the jewelers later this summer to have them resized...

Happy or Moody most of the time: Still very happy, but on my drive home today I just wanted to cry for no reason.  I just felt so tired and if crying didn't expend so much energy I probably would have cried my whole way home!   I hate feeling this tired! 

Looking forward to: Everything surrounding this little boy.  Words cannot even express how excited I am to meet him and become a mom! 

Crossing the Finish Line

The little ticker on the right of my page says 22 days until Baby Boy arrives.  I really hate this waiting game.  I wish I knew the exact date and time so I could really mentally prepare myself for what is to come!   Everything in my life has been well thought out and planned, right down to this pregnancy.  So you can only imagine how much this waiting game is driving me crazy!

Over the past few days I have been trying to mentally prepare for labor and birth, and I keep finding myself using the same analogy to psych myself up for the big event:

This is a marathon.

My first full marathon.  I have done all research for how to best succeed, practiced my drills, worked on breathing, stretching, and focusing on the ultimate goal.

I cannot believe how similar the feelings and anxiety I am experiencing right now are to how I feel before a big race, especially a race I haven't competed in before.  I feel prepared, yet scared that I will have to "drop out" before I cross the finish line.

I am hopeful that if I keep this idea in my head that I will succeed in having a natural childbirth.  There were so many times during my first (and only) triathlon last year that I wanted to just give up.  It was so hard and my body just wasn't as prepared as I had wanted it to be, but I pushed on and finished. I am able to bring my mind to another place during those excruciatingly difficult physical times, and I hope I am able to do that during childbirth.

Only time will tell...

36 Weeks 1 Day

We are really getting down to the end here.  This little boy could really come any day now.  Some days I feel so much pressure and have so many (minor) contractions I think it may be soon.  But still other days I feel fabulous, like I could seriously run. Okay, maybe just a 400 meter waddle jog, but still that is pretty good.  I just do not understand why my body fools me like this, but I guess it is better than feeling like poop everyday!

Everyone has a comment about my body.  Luckily, I am not too sensitive when it comes to this stuff.  Typical comments I have been hearing:
"Are you sure there is only in there?"
"Wow, you are huge!"
"You don't even look pregnant from the back."  This is my personal favorite.  Is it true?  I don't know, but I really like hearing it!
"Look at your belly button sticking out!"  I would love to, if it wasn't pointing down to the ground! I can't even see that poor disgusting thing!

The kids at school are also getting super excited.  My students totally understand that he probably won't be here until after school lets out.  They are actually hoping he stays in since they want to keep me until the very last day (who can blame them?).  But the little kids see me every day and say, "Your baby is still inside your belly?  Why?"  And every day I have to explain that babies need to grow inside mommies for 9 months just like they did.  That is getting old!

The swelling has still been a major issue.  Last Thursday we had a BBQ at school to celebrate the school year with families and one Hispanic mother noticed my swollen ankles and feet (may I add that she noticed from a distance!).  She told the translator to tell me to eat pineapple dipped in honey.  Well, I've tried it and it seems to work better than anything else.  I have tried elevating, resting, icing, drinking lots of water, and (somewhat) limiting my salt intake (I don't really have much salt in my diet as it is). And nothing really worked. For now, I'll keep eating it and hoping my swelling stays under control.

So it only took 9 months, but I am now experiencing the weird preggo dreams.  I seriously probably only remember 5-10 dreams a year, and I had two crazy, vivid dreams the past two nights.

Crazy Dream #1:  The guy across the street was keeping kids against their will in his basement.  One of the kids found out all of our phone numbers and started calling and texting us and then tried friending us on facebook.  It doesn't sound scary, but it was freaking me out because I had the feeling of being stalked.  I was really fearing for my safety.

Crazy Dream #2: (Please do not judge, I have no idea where this dream came from).  I was still living with my parents, but Kiel and I were married and I was still very pregnant.  I purchased a plastic bag the size of a pillow case full of cocaine (yes cocaine!).  I then was compulsively EATING it.  What??  I was afraid to tell Kiel about it, because I thought he would be mad that I spent so much money on it, but I tried rationalizing it by saying I got a really good deal on it.  He didn't freak about the cost (obviously) and said I needed to get my butt into rehab and off drugs before I harmed the baby.  (I can't make this $h!t up!)

So what does all this mean?  My guess is it is my subconscious's way of dealing with the anxiety I am facing about labor, delivery, and becoming a mom.  Although I don't really feel the anxiety, I guess it is still very much a part of who I am right now.

At the doctor today everything was pretty routine. My blood pressure was back down to 110/58, my protein and glucose tests were fine, weight gain is still in check, baby is in position, heartbeat is 140.  Next week I see the nurse midwife and I cannot tell you how happy I am to meet her.  There is a slight chance I'll be seeing her for the rest of my pregnancy (yeah, all 2 weeks of it) since my doctor is kind of driving me nuts!

-The Weekly List -

How far along? 36 Weeks 1 Day

Total weight gain/loss: +33 pounds.  I only have 2 more pounds to go before I hit what I wanted to be my max.  I am going to go over, but oh well!  I have a feeling this kid is abnormally large anyway. It is all his fault!  

Maternity clothes? Yep and most of my shirts are too short for my belly.  I have been wearing more of Kiel's T-shirts lately.  I refuse to buy anymore maternity shirts with the due date so close!

Stretch marks? None.  They will be here after delivery, I just know it!

Sleep: I have hit the point where sleeping has become a chore.  I get so incredibly sore since all of his weight shifts to whichever side I am laying on.  Rolling over is nearly impossible.  I am just very uncomfortable.  This doesn't help with all the stuff I have to take care of at work these next few days!

Best moment this week: Getting the dresser/changing table in the room.  Kiel did an incredible job!  I am so happy that my dad's dresser from his childhood is now my son's!  I will take pictures of the room once it is all done.  That will probably be after his birth since there are a few touches I need to add, but they involve his name and it is still a secret!!

Miss Anything? Feeling comfortable in my own body!

Movement: He moves a lot still.  He seems to be getting frustrated with the lack of space and I can feel him trying to straighten out his back.  This is so uncomfortable for me since it causes his head to put extra pressure in my pelvic area and his bum to crash into my ribs.  But it is so worth the discomfort!  I love feeling him!

Food cravings: Ice cream, but I have been resisting since my dessert the past few nights has been pineapples dipped in honey!

Food aversions: Nothing!

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Every night I feel nauseous right when I get into bed, but it seems to go away rather quickly.    

Ailments: Swelling and pelvic pressure are the main things right now.  

Have you started to show yet: Yep-see the twins comment above...

Gender prediction: Beautiful baby boy. 

Labor Signs: Just the Braxton Hicks contractions.  They really aren't much to speak of, just catch me off guard.  Oh how I would love if labor contractions felt like that! 

Belly Button in or out? Out and pointing to the ground.  What is my body going to look like after this kid comes out??

Wedding rings on or off? Off, and now I could wear my rings on my pinkie if I really wanted to.  I can't believe my poor pinkie is the size of my ring finger!   

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, incredibly excited, and still wicked tired!

Looking forward to: Seeing this little boy!  Who will he look like?  Holding him in my arms!  Will he know I'm his mama?  Kissing his handsome face!  Being a mom!

Ten On Tuesday

ALL ABOUT THE 90′s!

1. Which boy band was your favorite and your favorite song?
New Kids on the Block!  Maybe they started in the late 80's, but they are the boy band that got it all started.  My sister and I had all the gear and video tapes.  We were guilty of kissing the TV screen whenever they came on.  My favorite song by them was probably Tonight or Cover Girl! 

2. Your favorite spice girl?
Sporty Spice.  I liked her style: Running pants and a fun sports bra or tank.  That was very me!

3. Did you ever try the orbit drink?
I had to google this.  After seeing the picture I vaguely remember trying it.  I probably convinced my dad to buy it at a gas station since I doubt my mother would ever buy that crap!















4. What brand of clothing were you in to?
Haha brand of clothing??  Ummm, Champion T-Shirts and Starter jackets in the early 90's.  Then when I hit middle school I tried to be a bit more girly and wore LEI jeans and tops found at the Limited Two, Weathervane and places like that.  

5. Did you watch TGIF?
Every Friday!  We were just talking about all those shows the other night!  Boy Meets World or Full House had to be my favorites.  


6. What news story in the 90′s do you recall?
Princess Diana's death is the first thing that pops into my head without having to resort to google.  I can still see Prince William and Harry and their sad faces. I couldn't even imagine what they were going through. That also began a slight obsession with William.  

7. List which you think had the best talent. Jessica Simpson, Mandy Moore, Brittney Spears, and Christina Aguilera.
This one is tough!  Probably Mandy Moore because she actually did some okay movies...A Walk to Remember!  

8. Did Marilyn Manson creep you out?
Yes!  A guy with fake boobs! Gross!

9. Who was your BFF?
I rotated a lot depending on what activity I was involved in at the moment.  During softball season I had different friends and when I was more into girl scouts I hung out with those girls, and when I went to summer rec I hung with those girls.  I never had a BFFL. 

10. A picture of you in the 90′s.

I don't have many pictures from my childhood scanned and saved on this computer so this one will have to do.  I believe this was an eighth grade foreign language trip to NYC!  We had a great time on that bus!