Everyone envisions their labor going a certain way. For me, I thought I would avoid taking any drugs and successfully push out my baby boy. Not so much....
It all began around 1pm on Saturday June 30, 2012. I noticed some cramping in my lower abdomen, very similar to menstrual cramps. At first I didn't think anything of it since during childbirth class our instructor advised us that what we see on TV-ya know women grabbing their lower bellies-is not the case and real labor contractions are actually felt at the top of the uterus, not the bottom. But they kept on coming about ever 12-15 minutes. I googled my symptoms, which also included lower back pain that radiated towards my belly and it did seem like I was actually in the early stages of labor.
You have no idea....I wanted to call my friends and family to let them know. But knowing them...they would all freak out, and I kept thinking "This really can't be happening." Even though I very well knew that it could and should be happening at any moment.
Random, but I had to bring my car up to the repair shop so they could tighten my lug nuts since I had just had them repair a tire a few days before and they gave me a "complimentary" tire rotation. Kiel also had scheduled an oil change so we drove separate cars the 15 minute drive to BJs. Along the way the contractions continued to come, but they really were not all that bad. As we waited for his car to get worked on we decided to get some things at the Home Depot across the parking lot. As I drove to the other side of the parking lot I got another contraction and knew that I could not walk around Home Depot with these pains coming every 12 minutes. So I waited in the car and prayed he would hurry!!
When we got home, Kiel told me to rest and he was going to plant the flowers he had just purchased. I tried resting, but the pains kept coming and I was starting to get really excited. At this point they were still about 10-12 minutes apart.
At around 4 pm I got up out of bed and decided to walk around the neighborhood. As I walked up the driveway I realized I would look like a freak stopping every 10 minutes to deal with the contractions, so I just did laps around our yard. As soon as I started walking, the contractions went from 10 minutes apart to 6 minutes apart. This went on for about an hour or so and I called my doctor. The doctor on call wanted to check me out. Before I went in, I wanted to feel clean (I have no idea why) so I took a shower. As I was getting ready I could tell that Kiel was really starting to get nervous! He kept saying, "You have everything in the bag?" "You done with the bag?" "What else do you need in the bag?" He couldn't chill even though I told him we still had time!
Once we got into the car I started making the phone calls and text messages. I didn't want our family to come up right away because I would feel so bad if it were a false alarm. So I said Kiel would be in touch as soon as we knew what was going on.
When we got to the hospital we had to enter through the ER since it was evening on the weekend and the registration was already closed for the day. They had not sense of urgency in that place! I was having contractions to the point that I actually drooled on the floor and they waited their sweet old time to get me a wheel chair and bring me to Labor and Delivery.
Once we got to L&D everything changed. I was then treated like a queen! When the midwife came in to check me she surprised me by saying I was already 3cm dilated and 100% effaced! Wooo hooo! I was going to have a baby in the next 6-8 hours she said! That is when we told everyone that they should come!
It seemed to take no time at all for my parents, my sister and her fiance, and my best friend Lauren to get there! Time was flying!
I spent the early stages of my labor on the birthing ball and in the shower. Both of those tricks worked really well to keep me relaxed and help move the process along. However, I knew that I would not have the strength to push in 6-8 hours if I did not have some "drug" intervention. I just knew that I needed an epidural. I really hoped that I could avoid drugs, but I just knew that I couldn't when I was dealing with it. (That is my advice to anyone going through labor...Try to avoid drugs if you can, but you will know what you can or can't handle).
Once I got the epidural I barely felt anything. Kiel, Corey and Lauren watched the monitor and told me when I was having a contraction, but I felt nothing (in the beginning!) The night progressed and I continued to dilate rather quickly (I was happy the epidural didn't slow things down!).
At around 2am Maddex's heart rate started dropping with every contraction. By this time I could just feel a little bit of pressure with each contraction. When his heart rate dropped they had to give me oxygen and encourage me to relax and breathe in deep breaths. I could not have done this if I had not had my epidural so I was very happy to have gotten the drugs earlier. This stretch of time was very stressful for both me and Kiel. I hated seeing and hearing Maddex's heart rate drop. It really freaked me out, but the doctor said it wasn't too concerning since his heart rate picked right back up after each contraction.
By around 5 am I was ready to start pushing. The pressure became almost unbearable and I got the "urge to...poop" that everyone says happens. I began pushing and the first push felt great. It felt like I moved him and there was a little bit of a release. Every push after that felt absolutely awful. They kept telling me to push and I kept telling them I was dying! It just did not feel right to me, but I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. So I just kept pushing when they told to me to push. It was the worst pain of my life. At that point I was working with my nurse, midwife, and a med student. After about 45 minutes of pushing every minute or two, three times per contraction, the doctor came in and looked distraught (Kiel told me this since I was in my own world at this point). The doctor was mad that they had me pushing for as long as they did when the baby was still no where in sight. I heard him say that he couldn't even use a vacuum or forceps at this point because the baby was still to high. So Kiel said, "What are you going to do?" The doctor said "C-section" and I said "Yes, just get him out of me." Maddex's heart rate was dropping again at this point and I just wanted him out of me alive. I didn't care about me, or my dream of pushing him out, holding him right away, and having Kiel cut the cord. I wanted my baby safe!
The doctor ushered my sister and Lauren out and told Kiel to prep for surgery. The anesthesiologist came back and explained as slowly as possible the risks of the drugs I was about to get. He made me sign paperwork while the contractions were coming 1-2 minutes apart and I could not push! All I wanted to do was push! It was a nightmare. Kiel left me while I was still trying to breathe and not push during this intense contractions, and I didn't see him again for almost a half hour. In that time I got my new drugs, got transferred to a new bed and wheeled into surgery.
While in the operating room they put up the sheet and began prepping everything. I kept asking for Kiel and they kept telling me soon. He was going through the same thing, only it was probably worse for him since the last time he saw me I was writhing in pain trying to breathe through the contractions. He had no idea that the new drugs had completely taken away all feeling in my lower body.
Finally Kiel came in and took a seat beside my head. He was so upset and nervous and I had to keep reassuring him that I was 100% ok. I really was! I didn't really care about myself at that point anyway. I just wanted my baby out alive.
Once the procedure started I felt no pain at all. I did feel pressure and movement as they worked on my insides doing whatever they do. Eventually they said "It's a boy!" but I didn't hear that boy making a sound. Within a few seconds, that felt like an eternity for me, I heard the cries of my baby boy. They took him right over to a table with a pediatrician. They didn't even show him to us, but the table was on our side of the sheet so I could kind of see him. I saw a full head of hair and a HUGE baby! The pediatrician worked on him for almost a half hour while they stitched me up. Eventually they let Kiel hold him and bring him over to me and we looked at him. I said, "What do you want to name him?" He said, "What do you think?" Me: "Maddex?" Kiel: "Yes, Maddex."
It was the best moment of my life. I am so happy the drugs did not impair my thinking and I still have full memory of those special first moments with my husband and my baby boy. Shortly, after that they must have started my morphine, because everything after that gets really fuzzy. I remember them telling me I had to help them move my body on to another bed and they wheeled me back into my delivery room to recover.
During the first few minutes in that room I was given the opportunity to begin breast feeding Maddex. We spent about 30 minutes together as a family before we invited the rest of our family in. I barely remember this part except for my mother saying "Oh Amanda, he is just perfect!" I remember really crying at that point. I also remember everyone asking what his name was and I just couldn't get myself together to tell them. So I had Kiel tell them. I don't even remember their reactions. I don't think my eyes were open. I just don't remember and that makes me really sad.
That whole first day is such a blur for me. The morphine really impaired my thinking. Looking back I feel like I was asleep the whole day, but Kiel reassures me that I was awake and talking most of the day. The only little snippets I remember are looking over to the chair and seeing Kiel holding and talking to Maddex. He was so in love!
July 1, 2012 did not go as I had planned and hoped. And you know what? I wouldn't change all that happened for anything in the world. Those events are what brought Maddex Francis into this world alive and healthy. What more could a mother hope and wish for?
